


Bedside Manner

by sebastian2017



Category: Fantastic Four (Comicverse), Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff, Johnny Storm is a himbo, M/M, MCU RarePairs Bingo 2019, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Peter Parker is Trying His Best, Romance is chaotic when your boyfriend is in the fantastic four and also you are a human spider, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-07
Updated: 2020-05-07
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:47:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24063070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sebastian2017/pseuds/sebastian2017
Summary: Ever since Peter got his PhD, Johnny keeps showing up at his window with his Fantastic Four related injuries, no matter how many times Peter explains that he's not that kind of doctor.
Relationships: Peter Parker/Johnny Storm
Comments: 14
Kudos: 193
Collections: MCU RarePairs Bingo 2019





	Bedside Manner

**Author's Note:**

> A fill for the square "I'm not that kind of doctor" in MCU Rarepairs Bingo
> 
> CW: brief descriptions of blood and injury

Peter's made a great many mistakes in his life. Some to do with his life as Peter Parker, some to do with his life as Spider-Man. They've ranged from mild inconvenience in his civilian life to mistakes that probably cost people their lives because he couldn't stop a supervillain fast enough. It's a very wide range for any one man to deal with, but mistakes are something that every superhero has to learn to be comfortable with early on, or the guilt of the job is simply too much for anyone to bear.

Yet even with Peter's long history of making and accepting mistakes, there's one mistake in particular he's never going to be able to fully recover from. One mistake that's going to haunt him until the end of his days: 

Confirming his glorified frat bro boyfriend's suspicion that Peter having received a PhD technically makes him Dr. Parker. 

Don't misunderstand him. Peter's incredibly proud of his degrees, especially since so much of the work he'd gotten done during his research had gone into technology for Spider-Man, which had saved countless lives. And he does think it's pretty cool that he gets to add a title to his name, even if he does feel like the world's biggest dickhead when he uses it. The problem isn't his degree. Not at all. It's Johnny freaking Storm who, bless his heart, seems to think that Peter having the title doctor in his name is a good excuse to start showing up at Peter's apartment for every ridiculous injury he's too embarrassed to show to a medical professional. 

The first time it happens, Peter naively thinks that Johnny's stopping by on a booty call or to surprise him before he leaves on patrol. Why else would his boyfriend be climbing in through his window at ten o'clock at night? It's logical reasoning, but unfortunately, he'd forgotten the very crucial step of adjusting himself to think with Johnny Storm logic instead, because it definitely wasn't the same as the rest of the world. Peter's gotten more adept at translating Johnny logic into the rest of the world over the course of their relationship, but sometimes it still takes him a second to make sense of things. Especially when it's something as ridiculous as Johnny coming in through his window, immediately taking off his shirt, and pointing at a large patch of mild frostbite on his chest with a ridiculous pout. 

"Can you fix it?" he asks. 

Peter's eyes widen and he's frozen there for a second, forkful of cheap ramen halfway to his mouth. It takes him a while to recover and put his dinner down so he can check on Johnny, but Johnny just stands there the whole time. He likes theatrics more than any supervillain Peter's had to fight in his career. Which is saying a lot. Peter goes over to his side, frowning as he inspects the reddened skin. "It's September in New York, Johnny. How did you manage this?" 

"Weeeeell... I went out with Sue for a night of drinks and gossip, the usual. Except Bobby Drake happened to be at the same bar and we might have gotten into an argument about whether it's cooler to have fire powers or ice powers, so obviously, we worked it out by getting into a fight where we took turns blasting each other," Johnny explains. He doesn't even have the decency to pretend he's guilty about the whole thing. He mostly just looks disgustingly proud about his terrible ideas. 

"It's a miracle you've lived to 25," Peter mumbles. "What are you even doing here, Johnny? You need to go see a doctor! How did Sue even let you leave her sight looking like this?" 

"I might have just slipped away when she was busy yelling at Bobby. Besides, I did come see a doctor, Dr. Parker." Johnny grins at him. 

It takes Peter a second to remember that he technically is a doctor and this was probably the reason Johnny had been asking so curiously about his new credentials. He keeps waiting for the punchline, for Johnny to laugh and say that of course he's going to a real hospital, he's just teasing Peter for a minute before going to seek proper medical attention. But, of course, that never comes. Johnny just stands there, waiting patiently. 

Peter splutters incredulously, wide eyed. How he'd ever managed to start dating Johnny in the first place is a mystery, considering this dumb jock behavior is nothing new. "Johnny! I'm not that kind of doctor. You need to go see someone with actual medical experience." 

"Oh, come on, it's close enough. I'm already here, there must be something you can do for it," Johnny insists. He steps around Peter to go lay himself across the bed, looking very comfortable for someone with frostbite on his chest. And sure, he'll probably be fine even if they don't treat it, but Peter's still not too happy about suddenly becoming an on call nurse! 

"I mean, sure, I know first aid, but jeez, Johnny, I'm not the one to go to in this kind of situation," Peter insists. 

And still, because he somehow doubts Johnny's going to actually get it looked at, he goes to run a warm bath in his too small bathtub. This is probably encouraging Johnny in ways he shouldn't, but if he doesn't, he knows Johnny won't do anything to look after himself and Peter will never be able to go on his patrol while he's worried about Johnny. He eventually drags Johnny over for a bath, grumbling under his breath the entire time. 

Johnny is entirely unfazed by the whole thing and he just keeps grinning from ear to ear. HE even sneaks in a kiss or two while he undresses, which Peter is happy to give, but doesn't let stop his grumbling. Being Johnny Storm's boyfriend is all about balance, after all. Once Johnny's in the bath and Peter's sat in a corner supervising, he lets himself relax a bit. Johnny looks good enough naked to remind him why he puts up with all these silly things in the first place. 

Johnny's just enjoying the impromptu bath, which he keeps warm with his powers. "Good to know I have a much cuter nurse now." 

"Johnny. No." 

****

Unfortunately, whenever Johnny hears 'Johnny, no' it usually translates to 'Johnny, yes' in that strange mind of his. Peter wishes he could say he's surprised when, a few weeks later, Johnny shows up at his window again, this time with a pretty nasty looking cut on his cheek. Peter already knows this is one of his ridiculous housecalls, but he still goes to open the window and help him inside. It's hard not to feel sympathetic when there's cute, vaguely pathetic looking boys hanging out at his window. 

"Leland Owlsley did not respect the unspoken rule to never aim for my beautiful face," Johnny complains. 

"Aww, hell, Johnny. This could get infected," Peter mumbles, sitting him down on the bathroom counter and fetching his first aid kid. "Were you with the team? They should have taken you to get this checked out and disinfected properly." 

"I told them I had a guy and that I would take care of it myself," Johnny explains. 

It takes Peter a second to remember that he's the guy and that Johnny's ignoring excellent medical care in favor of his boyfriend with a PhD in biochemistry, which is definitely not the same as going to medical school. He groans. "Johnny. You can't keep doing this. I'm not qualified to take care of things like this." 

"Of course you are. You did a great job of patching me up last time!" 

"Yeah, when you had some mild frostbite that would have definitely gone away on it's own. This... This might need stitches, it could get infected, you could make it worse trying to treat it. This needs an actual nurse looking after it, not your fake doctor boyfriend." 

"Aww, you're not a fake doctor, Petey!" 

Peter lets out a very long sigh and goes over good memories in his mind to remind himself why he loves Johnny very much and is definitely not going to poke him in his injured cheek right now. Johnny's a sweet guy and Peter knows he's smarter than this. He's just also someone who tends to get caught up in his own little inside jokes and probably thinks this is the funniest thing to happen in the city in a long time. 

He looks through his - admittedly extensive - first aid kit, until finding supplies to disinfect the wound and some butterfly bandages to close it until Johnny could get to a real doctor. He's gotten pretty good at first aid over the years, from needing to patch himself up after rough nights out patrolling. Still, he won't advocate for Johnny coming to him instead of someone more qualified, because the only reason Peter never went to real urgent care facilities was because of his secret identity. (Well, money, too, but mostly the secret identity bit.) 

Johnny has the luxury of everyone knowing he's the Human Torch and the seemingly endless Fantastic Four bank account. Peter can't fathom being in his shoes and not going to see real doctors. When he's done, Peter leans in to kiss his non injured cheek and takes Johnny's hands in his, hoping he comes off as a tender, worried boyfriend, instead of an overly concerned Jewish mother. 

"That'll do for now, but you should get it checked out once you go home," he insists. "And really, babe, I might do in an emergency, but I'm not that kind of doctor. You need to get real medical attention when you get injured in battle. Before you end up coming here for something you think is no big deal and it's too late by the time we get you to a hospital." 

"Has anyone ever told you you're cute when you worry?" Johnny smirks up at him. 

Peter rolls his eyes and grabs Johnny's hand to kiss his palm. "You do. All the time. Because you're the world's most ridiculous boyfriend. Promise you'll stop with this joke?" 

"All right, all right. I'll go to a real doctor next time. The bedside manner definitely won't be this good, though."

"It better not!"

****

They don't have any more incidents over the next few months, which Peter considers a win. It's much easier to be just boyfriend and not boyfriend as well as impromptu nurse. Especially considering he definitely doesn't have the training and skills needed to adequately look after the type of wounds superheroes get. It's a miracle he's managed to keep himself in one piece after years of treating himself so he won't get unmasked or asked too many questions in a hospital. 

Peter loves his boyfriend, but their relationship has involved several arguments inspired by Peter's frustration that Johnny has so many resources on the team and never appreciates them enough. It's why he'd been so glad that Johnny had given the whole 'my boyfriend's a doctor' thing a rest and gone to get proper medical attention. It's also why he's so annoyed to have his work interrupted tonight by Johnny knocking on his window, covered in blood and cradling one of his arms to his chest. Even from his couch, Peter can see that it's a nasty break. 

He doesn't even bother with pretending to be nice as he goes to yank open the window. "Johnny! What the hell? You're injured! Badly! You should be in a hospital, not my fire escape." 

"I know, I know." Johnny whimpers pathetically as he climbs into the apartment, making it pretty hard for Peter to stay mad at him. "Are you sure you're not still that kind of doctor?" 

Peter softens a bit and leads Johnny to sit on the couch. He'll worry about the blood stains later. From up close, he can see that Johnny's wrist  _ is  _ fractured and it's an open break, which... gross. He's had to learn to not be squeamish through his line of work, but that doesn't stop his stomach from twinging in sympathy. "Johnny... That might have been funny when you just had a little freezer burn, but this is really bad. It needs to be set in surgery and have someone making sure it doesn't get infected. Not to mention you could probably do with a cocktail of pain meds that I'm not going to find in my medicine cabinet." 

"You're right, I just..." Johnny whines softly and leans his head on Peter's shoulder. 

"Do Reed and Sue know you're here? I'll call them. They can come pick you up and make sure you get taken right to an OR, no waiting around in a crowded intake room," Peter promises. He grabs his phone off the table, which involves some rather impressive stretching to keep from dislodging Johnny's head off his shoulder. 

"Can I tell you something, Peter?" 

"Of course you can, Johnny. You can tell me whatever you want on the whole ride to the hospital." 

"No, I mean right now, before you call Reed and Sue." 

"...all right, but make it quick, okay? You really need to get checked out." 

"I'm afraid of hospitals," Johnny admits. 

"Oh." Suddenly, a lot of things make sense. Peter puts his phone down momentarily so he can look directly at Johnny. He would be suspicious that this is one of Johnny's little jokes, but he really does look terrified, not to mention embarrassed about having said it out loud. Now Peter feels like a dick for being so nonchalant about everything. He might have been a bit gentler in his insistence that Johnny go to a doctor if he'd known. 

Johnny looks away. "Yeah. It's pretty dumb, considering my career, but... they just freak me out. That's why I keep hoping you might be able to patch me up instead." 

"Well... listen, this arm definitely needs a surgeon, but maybe I can give you a hand with smaller things from now on. And as for tonight... I promise I'll go with you and hold your hand the entire time. The good one, obviously. And I'll be in the room when you wake up," Peter promises. 

"You swear on every spider in the city?" Johnny asks. 

Peter laughs. "Yeah. I swear on every spider in the city." 

"All right, well... I can live with that." 


End file.
